Emotional Weekend

Last weekend, I went on a emotional rollercoaster. Tuesday afternoon Jeff and I found out Autumn's grandmother passed away. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year (I want to say March). She was given a choice of treating the cancer with chemotherapy. If she chose this treatment she would have 6 months to live. If not, she would have 3 months. She was on her bed with her daughters laughing at a show on TV. They were laughing so hard she lost her breath. In giving my condolences to the family, I mentioned to them they were fortunate in not watching thier mother suffer to the end. She passed away laughing. I don't know about you, but that is they way I want to go.
Because the family is Catholic, they had a vigil on Friday night. I got teary eyed when I hugged Autumn's mom. The funeral was Saturday morning. Catholic funerals are different than what I am used to. The congregation sang, Holy Holy Holy, as the family walked in to take thier places. That is when I lost it. Before the song began, I felt goosebumps all over my body. As soon as I sang, Holy, Holy, Holy the tears started flowing. Before I knew it I was crying harder than the family. I cried through the entire service and on the way to our car. We didn't go to the burial. I don't know I would have handled it.
Jeff seems to think I cried that hard because it brought back memories of my grandfather's funeral a year ago. I have been thinking about this all week. I was crying for several reasons. The first reason, there are 3 young women who lost thier mother. I kept thinking how I would fell if my mom would do leave this earth today. I know I would be lost. Second, there were 4 grandchildren who lost thier loving grandmother. Two of which were under two years old. Those two children will never know how great of a woman thier grandmother was. The third and last reason, the Priest said a prayer asking for this woman to enter the gates of Heaven. I realize Catholics have a different beliefs than I do. I kept thinking to myself this family doesn't have the assurance they will see thier mother/grandmother again. If I only accomplish one thing in my life, I want my family to have the assurance they will see me again.

Sunday morning, Jeff wasn't working and was able to attend church with me and the girls. We really enjoyed the message that morning. I think we finally found a church to call ours. Jeff has mentioned to his manager he would like to be off every Sunday or at least most Sundays.

Jeff's ex-wife asked us to consider something. She would like for us to have legal custody of her second daughter in the event something should happen to her. She doesn't want her daughters to grow up without each other. Jeff is all for it. I on the other hand, cannot say "yes" right away. I need time to think about it. Please keep us in your thoughts in prayers for this decision.