New Year

2010 is almost here. I would be lying if I said I wasn't ready for 2009 to end. The last 5 months have been rough on me.

I had an event happen that shook me to the core. I lost my best friend and the man I love only because of a Jezebel. (That's harsh, but it's true and that's how I feel). There wasn't any issues, so him leaving was a huge shock. I quickly learned how to be a single mom to a infant soon to be toddler. I am not going to lie and say this adjustment has been easy. Its been rough. But we managed to figure out a new schedule.

On a good note, Kara and I finally found a church home we could feel at home at. I love my new church family. I'm looking forward to what's going to happen as the church is starting the "Fresh Start Sunday" this weekend.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Merry Christmas

Kara and I had a good Christmas. We trust you did as well.

Teach the Children

I have very limited access to a computer for personal use right now. I recieved this poem in an email and I just wanted to share it with everyone.

Teach the Children
Just a week before Christmas I had a visitor. I just finished the household chores for the night and was preparing to go to bed, when I heard a noise in the front of the house. I opened the door to the front room and, to my surprise, Santa himself stepped out from behind the Christmas tree. He placed a finger over his mouth so I would not cry out "What are you doing?" I started to ask. The words choked up in my throat, as I saw he had tears in his eyes. His usual jolly manor was gone. Gone was the eager boisterous soul we all know. He then answered me with a simple statement, "TEACH THE CHILDREN."
I was puzzled; what did he mean? He anticipated my question, and with one quick movement brought forth a miniature toy bag from behind the tree. As I stood there bewildered, Santa said, "Teach the children! Teach them the meaning of Christmas. The meaning that children now-a-day's have forgotten!"
Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a FIR TREE and placed it before the mantle.
"Teach the children that the pure green color of the stately fir tree remains green all year around, depicting the everlasting hope of mankind. All the needles point heavenward, making it a symbol of man's thoughts toward heaven." He again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant STAR.
"Teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of promises long ago. God promised a savior for the world, and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise." He then reached in his bag and pulled out a CANDLE.
"Teach the children that the candle symbolizes that Christ is the light of the world, and when we see this great light we are reminded of He who displaced the darkness." Once again he reached into his bag and removed a WREATH and placed it on the tree.
"Teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the eternal nature of love. Real love never ceases. Love is one continuous round of affection." He then pulled out from his bag an ornament of HIMSELF.
"Teach the children that I, Santa Clause symbolize the generosity and good will we feel during the month of December." He reached in again and pulled out a HOLLY LEAF.
"Teach the children that the holly plant represents immortality. It represents the Crown of Thorns worn by our Savior. The red holly berries represent the blood shed by Him." Next he pulled out a GIFT from the bag and said, "Teach the children that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." "Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift. Teach the children that the Wise Men bowed before the Holy Babe and presented Him with gold, frankincense, and myrrh. "We should always give gifts in the same spirit as the Wise Men."
Santa reached in his bag and pulled out a CANDY CANE and hung it on the tree "Teach the children that the candy cane represents the shepherds crook. The crook on the shepherds' staff helps to bring back strayed sheep to the flock. The candy cane is the symbol that we are our brothers keeper."
He reached in again and pulled out an ANGEL. "Teach the children that it was the Angels that heralded in the glorious news of the Savior's birth. The angels sang Glory to God in the Highest, on earth peace, and good will toward men."
Suddenly I heard a soft twinkling sound, from his bag he pulled out a BELL. Teach the children that the lost sheep are found by the sound of the bell, it should bring man to the fold. The bell symbolizes guidance and return."
Santa looked back at the tree and was pleased. He looked back at me and I saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes. He said, "Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas, and to not put me in the center, for I am but a humble servant of the One That Is, and I bow down and worship Him, our Lord, our God."

Kara~15 Months

Well, little miss turned 15 months 3 days ago.

She is beginning to love books. I have to be careful and "hide" the grown up books. She loves her board books. She is talking more gibberish than actual words. At least she is vocal. She recognizes items in her books. If I ask her to show the me shoe, she points to it.

She has started the picky eater club. She used to love cheese toast, now she just wants the toast with no cheese. She peels the cheese off and it ends up on the floor. The only meat she likes is breaded chicken tenders. She recently discovered how to dip food in condiments. That has been a real adventure. For some reason when she is with her dad ketchup or whatever she is dipping food in ends up all over her clothes. I don't want to nag him, but I really wish he would start pushing up her sleeves or not let her eat with her coat on.

She still isn't walking on her own. She pushes her walking toys around the living room. Sometimes she gets brave and lets go. Then if I make a big deal of her standing up alone, she falls down. I learned to act like I am not paying her any attention.

She had her 15 month check up and booster shots yesterday. She weighs 24 lbs and is 30 inches long. I don't the doctors office got her measurements right. If she is 30 inches long, she hasn't grown in 3 months.

A church home

Finally after months of church searching, I finally found a place to call home.

Kara and I are proud members of a local baptist church in Randleman, NC.

I was a member in the past, and before some personal issues I loved it there. I worked in the nursery, sang in the chior and helped out anywhere I could.

I was going to talk to the pastor about becoming a member, but God had other plans in mind. After tonight's message an invitation was made for anyone to join that wanted to. Well, my heart started racing, I knew I couldn't ignore it. I went up front with another lady and we both joined.
I am so excited. I cannot wait to get involved and make brand new friends.

As soon as the new pastor gets settled and moved, we will be having a baby dedication for Kara.

Our weekend in Greenville

Family reunion

I haven't posted in awhile because I haven't been in a very good place. I am struggling and I am hoping to keep my mind busy through the holidays.

Last Monday, my grandmother on my father's side passed away. We weren't that close because growing up my life was full of manipulation and verbal abuse from my grandmother and several other family members. I haven't seen her or my other family members for at least 7 or 8 years. The summer of 2000, I found out my youngest uncle had cancer and another health scare. I took him to his doctors at Duke every Friday for consults and chemo treatments. After he got his own mode of transportation, it seemed no one needed me or my brother around. Calls stopped, visits were far and inbetween. There are other instances. I can't type them out for family privacy. Needless, to say my brother and I felt used.

For the past year, my uncle has been in contact with me via Myspace and texting. We were supposed to go see my grandmother in Henderson, NC on the Saturday before Father's Day. Autumn's grandmother passed away and I felt my loyalties were with her since she was my step-daughter. Since then, no one could coordinate thier schedules to go see her. I regret not seeing her one last time. The last memory I have of her isn't a good one. She said something negative about my life and I proved her wrong last August.

My brother and I had very mixed feelings about making the trip to Youngsville for the memorial service. I really didn't want to face that family because I knew the aunts would treat us like dog poo (the nicest thing I could come up with). And, I was right. One of them told me, it hurt her feelings that I missed her 50th birthday party four years ago. The other never talked to me or Kara. My uncle talked to us before the rest of the family arrived. We felt we needed to go to pay our respects to our grandmother and I really wanted to see my father. We haven't seen him since 2001 or 2002, by his choice, not ours.

My father was so happy to see us. It was worth the pain and shame poured on us. He loves Kara and he kept saying how happy he is to be a grandpa and he is on cloud nine. He doesn't have a phone at home. He makes all his calls from work. He has our number. The ball is in his court to call us. Kara needs a grandpa and he needs his family.

The first picture is Kara and me with my dad, uncle and brother. The second picture is Kara with my dad.

Kara~14 months

Kara, today you are 14 months old. I still look at you and wonder where my not so tiny newborn went.

You are becoming a smart little girl. You no longer want my help in doing things unless you get so aggravated you start screaming in frustration. This month you learned how to unlock my desk drawers. Thats a big accomplishment since the keyhole is small. I just watched you figure out which way the key goes. It took you a day, but you finally figured it out.

You have started to say a few words: see, wanna see, stop, and baby. You hold and comfort your baby dolls and stuffed animals, just like I have since day one. You hold them on your shoulder, twist back and forth and pat their backs. I love watching you love on your babies.

You haven't started walking yet. Although, you finally figured out you can walk as long as you are pushing something. Your favorite thing to walk and push are the office chairs. Your second favorite is your high chair. You are finally getting brave enough to walk behind the walking toy your Uncle Ronnie and Lem gave you for your birthday. I know it won't be long and you will be walking on your own. For now, I'm emjoying your crawling. It means I have my baby for a little while longer.

You still enjoy music. Your favorite toys are the ones that play a melody. Once you start to recognize it you sing along and clap your hands. Until you recognize it you just sway back and forth and bob your head.

Kara, you are growing up too fast. I enjoying spending every day with you. I enjoy seeing the world through your eyes. I look forward to many more days with you.

My little Linus

Kara has a favorite blanket. When she gets upset she holds it up to her face and sucks her thumb. I noticed she has been doing this since July. She does it when I leave her in the care of the church nursery, gym daycare or when Jeff leaves after dropping Kara off at home.

She CANNOT go anywhere without it. Once, I made the mistake of not taking it with us in 100 degree heat. I had to turn the car around before she would calm down. This blanket is her best friend and security. I wish I could say it was this same shade of pink. It has a dingy look now, and its stained. I am not looking forward to the day I have to get her a new one. I have been thinking of buying a second one for her to alternate with. I have this feeling she would know the difference. I should have gave her other blankets to get used to.

Jeff and I call her Linus from the Peanuts because he carried his blanket around sucking his thumb. Jeff gave her a Linus doll, given to him by his late sister many years ago. He did the same thing. I seen his baby pictures, he even looked like Linus. Just a few strands of hair sticking up.

Fall Festival

This year, my mother and I decided to take Kara to the Asheboro Fall Festival. It was the first time I have been in 10 years or so. The last time, I was there I was with some friends from college. We stopped in to look around and get one of the best funnel cakes from a family friend. They are always set up at the end of Worth Street. I didn't get one this year because I wasn't all that hungry. IT seemed to change alot. I didn't notice too many things for children to beg their parents for. I remember when I was younger, we would always get a mylar balloon or some crazy toy. Kara seemed to enjoy the event for the first 30 min. Then she started to get crabby. I was reaquainted with some friends from middle and high school. They were doing face painting and games to raise money for her foundation. Kara got a huge red heart on her face. I tried to get pictures but she wasn't in a picture taking mood.

Wanna See

Is the first mini sentence of Kara's. She has been saying "see" whenever she wants something. It took me a few seconds to realize what she was saying.

Kara~13 Months

I looked at my calendar and just realized Kara turned 13 months a week ago. I haven't had a chance to take many pictures. I feel bad about that. Its tough working a full time job and taking care of the house alone. I can't remember how I did it 3 years ago. Well, back then it was me and the cats so things were easier.

Yesterday, I got Kara's 12 month pictures done (a month late). It was difficult because Kara screamed and cried the entire time. I think we may have gotten 5 good shots. She has been going through this stage of screaming when I leave the room or leave her anywhere. Yesterday's photo session was a nightmare. She didn't like sitting on the table. She wanted to hold her blanket and suck her thumb the entire time. What makes her laugh at home made her cry harder. I am hoping this is a fast lived phase in her life.

On the good note, she eats everything I eat. She loves other people, especially older men. I have this good friend who she absolutely adores. We call him her adopted grandfather. I am so glad to be reconnected to him and his family. Now we just need to get all the grandkids together so they can play and hopefully, Kara will make lifetime friends.

She is not walking, yet. I thought for sure she would start last week. Today, she started to crawl with her feet and hands, so maybe she will figure out how to left her back up straight.

We both have a non spoken prayer request. I had a glipmse of something I have been praying about last week. I am sitting back and impatiently waiting for this situation to unfold. Just keep Kara and I in your thoughts in prayers.

Missing Him

Have you ever had a person in your life that just got you and your quirks? I had that person in my life. I shared everything with this person. We laughed alot. Although, this person is still in my life, we cannot share that bond anymore (reasons remain unnamed). I don't know if he reads this blog or not. If he does, I want him to know I miss sharing the important and non important things with him. I miss being around him. I miss watching him interact with our daughter.

Everytime I see a package of Jelly Belly's, I am reminded he was one of the few that shared my favorite flavor.

A Friendly Labor Day

This weekend was different for me. I was busy Saturday-Monday. Normally, I am trying to find things to do. Saturday afternoon, Kara went to her daddy's house. When she got home, we hit the road. Kara went to grandma's house and I met up with a good friend of mine. We haven't seen each other in 4 years. Life and relationships kept up from seeing and talking with each other. It was nice to catch up. We went to the movies then got caught up with each other lives. Sunday, I spent the day relaxing. Mom kept Kara an extra night so I could relax and have some alone time. Monday, I went to Kernesville to pick up Kara. We were in the grocery store buying items for dinner when my friend, "Sally" called me. Kara and I were invited to a cook out hosted by her parents. I was reaquinted with some people that used to be in my youth group. Again, it was nice to catch up and let the kids play and get to know each other. I have to admit, it was strange seeing everyone I grew up with having babies. Below is a picture of Kara and two of the children. We are hoping to have more play dates so they can be the best of friends.
I apologize for the small size. This was taken with the camera on my phone.

Never Alone

Music has always played an important part in my life. It has always helped me get through the tough times. For the past two months, I have leaned on music to help me forget my troubles for a few hours a day. I have always loved Jim Brickman's music. While searching iTunes one day, I came across a song he and Lady Antebellum perform. This is my song to Kara. I hope she knows she can come to me with any problem she has.

Little Calf

I was going through Kara's box of clothes looking for things she can wear in the cooler weather. Out of all the hand me downs she only has sleevless tops. I started to look in the 18 month clothes just to double check. I found this Halloween costume. It looks adorable on her.

A Good Day

I woke up this morning, not wanting to get out of bed. I am glad Kara stayed in her bed until 9:00am. I woke up feeling lonely and just depressed. It all started with a dream I had. I hate having dreams that make me waking up sad. I got Kara out of bed and fed her breakfast. Then we went back to bed just to lay and watch TV. We finally made it out of my room for lunch.

After lunch, we went to a birthday party for a family friend's little girl. I really haven't spent much time with this family since I graduated college in 2000. We just reunited a few weeks after I had Kara. It was nice to be around the group of people I grew up with. It was just like the old days. I know they have my back anytime I need it. I need it now more than anything.

Kara had a blast at the birthday party. She overloaded on junk. She had an ice cream sundae, chips and other snack foods. Kara also got to "help" break the pinata. Over all we had a good time. The birthday party was a little emotional for me. It broke my heart seeing all these little girls with thier fathers. Although Kara's dad sees her on Saturdays, he is still missing out on alot. Kara is growing by leaps and bounds. Everyday she does something new and exciting.

After the party, we met with another friend of mine. This friend was my best friend until I went to college and she got married. I ran into her parents last week and they gave me her number because she needs a good influence in my life. This friend also has a little girl. She was born 12 days before Kara. I just hope this friendship continues to grow again, so I can get out of the house and Kara will have another little girl to play with.

Even though the day started out depressing, the afternoon turned into something wonderful.

Well...

I have lots to say, but I don't know where to start. Im in a place in my life, where I never thought I would be.

Just everyone keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am going thorough a rough time trying to figure out alot of things.

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl

On August 15, 2008, Kara Elizabeth Stewart was brought into this world. She is the best thing that could have happened to me. I loved watching her grow and change everyday. Her smile brightens the room. Even though, our lives aren't as I planned them, I am very blessed.

Now Kara, is one year old. She weighs 22.6 pounds and is 30 inches long. She can say mama, daddy, ball, sissy, and something like thank you. (It isn't really thank you, but when I give her something she babbles two things). Like most girls, she is a daddy's girl. She loves him so much and hates to see him go. She loves girly things. Her favorite toys are her pink cell phone, those arm bands everyone wears for different causes, necklaces or anything you can put over her head. She isn't walking yet. However, she is starting to stand on her own. Any day, she will be brave enough to walk.

God's Will vs My Will

In Sunday School we have been using Beth Moore's study, To Live Is Christ. It's a study about the life and ministry of Paul. I have missed alot because they started the study weeks before I started going to church, then I missed several classes due to either locking my keys in the house, Kara being sick or me being sick. I have the workbook, so I have been reading through the missed lessons. I am enjoying this study. At Piedmont Baptist College, I learned alot during my Pauline Epistles classes. My mind is being refreashed and I am learning more this time.

One thing that sticks in my mind, is finding peace in knowing God's will in various situations. One lady is praying about retiring early, another is trying to decide if her nephew can continue to live with her, I have a very special request that I am not ready to share yet. In my situation, I have peace that things will go the way I want it to. I am trying to figure out if this is really God's will or my will? I have a very strong peace something will happen although all the elements are against me.

Has anyone else struggled with knowing God's will?

A few pictures from the week

I am still going through the storm I posted about. Just when I thought the storm was clearing and I was feeling better, I get knocked down again. I am keeping my head up because I have a little girl who needs me. Here are a few activities from the week:

My sick little girl

What was a runny nose on Monday turned into something on Wednesday. She has a runny nose still and a her fever is running 100-104. We went to the pediatrician Thursday they said she either has a viral cold or a UTI. I was supposed to get the lab results today but they weren't ready. Her fever broke last night (or I thought it did). It returned this afternoon and brought back a case of watery diaherria and vomiting. The on call nurse advised me to give her Pedialyte to keep her hydrated. If she still has her fever in the morning, I was told to call her pediatrician back for our next course of action.

One of my favorite pictures

I am in the process of backing up my files from the laptop. Mainly, because I need to in the event the hard drive crashes in the future. Second, because soon I won't have access to the laptop. As I was going through my Picasa files, I found a picture I love. I don't have a clue on how to use Picasa. I normally just play around with it.

I will miss playing around with Picasa. There is another photo editing site I can use. I am exicted to learn and use that program.

I love him

I want the whole world to know....


I am in love with Jeff.

He is the father of my child and my partner. We are going through a rough patch right now. It doesn't matter. I am TOTALLY in love with him. My heart skips a beat and I get butterflies just thinking of him. I love the father he is. He loves Autumn and Kara and it shows. I love how he takes care of me. I love listening to the love songs he plays for me. I love holding his hand. I love the fact that I can be myself around him. I love the way he makes me laugh.

I just plain love him!!

Kara 11 months

Kara is now 11 months. She continues to amaze me by her newly found skills. I am trying to remember them, but its hard. Some of the things she does: dances to all kinds of music, she crawls to my cell phone everytime it rings so she can "talk", she hates the vacuum. If she sees it, she screams out of horror. She has a new whiney face and uses it to her advantage.

Its hard to believe my little baby will be a year old in a few short weeks. I am looking forward to her birthday since she isn't afraid of icing. It will be interesting to see how I clean her off when we have her party at the local park and wont have easy access to wash her off. I did have an 11 month photo but my camera is at my mom's house.

taking a break

I am going through something private at this moment and I don't have the energy or desire to write anything. Although, I am MIA I am still reading everyones posts.

Busy Week

I have been MIA for the past few days. It has been a crazy week and its only Tuesday. Kara may have some kind of virus. She has been sick after every meal since Sunday. I thought last night she was better, of course when I call the doctor she is fine. This afternoon, the sickness began again. Her little bottom is so raw. She screams when she knows I have to change her diaper. She doesn't have a fever and she doesn't seem to be dehydrated. I am calling the doctor tomorrow to see if they want to see her.

Autumn has been placed on computer and phone restrictions, again. This is the second time since school was out June 12th. She just got back her privilages last week and lost a week later. She was warned if she gets in trouble, no computer time for 2 months and her phone will be taken away forever. I think she forgot about the rules since she was good for an entire week. The girl is spending her whole summer grounded. I hope this is not a preview of what the teen years are like.

Happy Birthday, Autumn

Happy 11th Birthday! I hope this year brings you joy!

Afternoon at the Pool

Saturday afternoon, we loaded the car with 3 kids, 2 adults and 3 bags and headed to the pool. It was a nice hot day. We had a good time at the pool. Angeleah decided she was hungry and whined until we left.




she loves the camera


Angeleah, Autumn's half sister

Kara, Autumn, Angeleah

Emotional Weekend

Last weekend, I went on a emotional rollercoaster. Tuesday afternoon Jeff and I found out Autumn's grandmother passed away. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer earlier this year (I want to say March). She was given a choice of treating the cancer with chemotherapy. If she chose this treatment she would have 6 months to live. If not, she would have 3 months. She was on her bed with her daughters laughing at a show on TV. They were laughing so hard she lost her breath. In giving my condolences to the family, I mentioned to them they were fortunate in not watching thier mother suffer to the end. She passed away laughing. I don't know about you, but that is they way I want to go.
Because the family is Catholic, they had a vigil on Friday night. I got teary eyed when I hugged Autumn's mom. The funeral was Saturday morning. Catholic funerals are different than what I am used to. The congregation sang, Holy Holy Holy, as the family walked in to take thier places. That is when I lost it. Before the song began, I felt goosebumps all over my body. As soon as I sang, Holy, Holy, Holy the tears started flowing. Before I knew it I was crying harder than the family. I cried through the entire service and on the way to our car. We didn't go to the burial. I don't know I would have handled it.
Jeff seems to think I cried that hard because it brought back memories of my grandfather's funeral a year ago. I have been thinking about this all week. I was crying for several reasons. The first reason, there are 3 young women who lost thier mother. I kept thinking how I would fell if my mom would do leave this earth today. I know I would be lost. Second, there were 4 grandchildren who lost thier loving grandmother. Two of which were under two years old. Those two children will never know how great of a woman thier grandmother was. The third and last reason, the Priest said a prayer asking for this woman to enter the gates of Heaven. I realize Catholics have a different beliefs than I do. I kept thinking to myself this family doesn't have the assurance they will see thier mother/grandmother again. If I only accomplish one thing in my life, I want my family to have the assurance they will see me again.

Sunday morning, Jeff wasn't working and was able to attend church with me and the girls. We really enjoyed the message that morning. I think we finally found a church to call ours. Jeff has mentioned to his manager he would like to be off every Sunday or at least most Sundays.

Jeff's ex-wife asked us to consider something. She would like for us to have legal custody of her second daughter in the event something should happen to her. She doesn't want her daughters to grow up without each other. Jeff is all for it. I on the other hand, cannot say "yes" right away. I need time to think about it. Please keep us in your thoughts in prayers for this decision.

To all the fathers out there

I hope each and every one of you enjoy your day! As for our house, we are going to church in the morning. The rest of the day we are going to be lazy.

Autumn's 5th Grade Graduation

On June 12th, Autumn graduated from the 5th grade. In August she will begin 6th grade. The best part (and she agrees with the next statement) is that she will not be going to the same middle school with most of her classmates. It took her all school year, but she now realizes she was mixed up in alot of the drama and causing all members of her family stress. She even told me she is happy she will be going to a new school with new people. I hate that she has to go through meeting new people all over again. At the same time, I am happy and hoping she makes better choices in friends this time.

Kara 10 months

Kara is 10 months old today. Just this weekend, she has learned so much. She started to wave at people when she sees them. If one of us goes outside, she crawls to the door to watch and clap. She grunts and points, when she recognizes her favorite snacks.

Kara also had her first visit in a church nursery. I was told she played the entire time and never made a fuss. I was so proud of her. That was the first time she was with people she wasn't familar with. I was afraid she would scream and cry when she realized I wasn't in the room with her.

Although, I hate to see her grow so fast I am looking forward to the future to see how she reacts to different environments.

Stolen photos

I am one of the many people who expose thier lives on social networking sites. I also put pictures of myself and my family on those sites. I never imagined anyone could steal or copy them to use. That was until I read and heard about a family whose family picture was used as an advertisement in Prague. She lives in St. Louis. The only way she found out was one of her college friends on Facebook drove by a store window and saw the same picture he recognized from her pictures. I can only wonder if my pictures make to a strangers folder or advertisement. How many people does this happen to?


For more details you can read Danielle's blog at http://www.extraordinarymommy.com/blog/.

Dreams and Watermelon part two

Yes, I ate watermelon before bed last night. No, I didn't have any crazy, off the wall dreams. Maybe it was just a fluke last week. Maybe since we didn't watch TV last night, my mind was clear of all the nonsense.
Last night we sat in the living room, listening to music and watching Kara push an old cell phone around the living room. The time we spent as a family felt like I was back in my teen years, sitting outside with my daddy listening and singing along with the radio on warm summer nights.

I miss those simplier days in life. The only worry I had was to make sure I had my daily chores done. Now, I have lots to worry about. I have a little girl that depends on me to show her right from wrong and how to survive in this crazy world. Which brings me to to request prayer, as I search for a church to go to. I left my home church due to conflict with the congregation. I felt it was time to go because I was no longer being fed there. I have been looking for a place that is good for me and my family. Keep us in your prayers as we look for a place to go.

Dreams and Watermelon

I love watermelon. Its one of those fruits that remind me its summertime. I only eat watermelon during the summer season. My favorite milkshake at Cook Out is the Watermelon milkshake. Its getting close to being on their menu for the month of July and August. We can hardy wait for it. There is one thing I heard about one of my favorites. I once heard if you eat watermelon before you to go bed, you will have strange dreams. I have found this to be true.

Thursday night, I had a dream that I lived in California and my best friends were Tori Spelling and Rebecca Romjin. I am not even sure if they are friends in real life. Back to my dream. All three of us were having playdates with Kara, the twins and Tori's two little ones. We were at the park. While the 5 kids were playing, a stranger walks up to the twins and takes Dolly right before our eyes. I woke up from the dream confused, wondering why I dream about Tori and Rebecca and how I knew the twins names when I only heard it once.

Friday night, I had a dream I was still living in California. This time I was friend with Ellen DeGeneres. She called me over to her house to talk her break up from Portia DeRossi. Again, I woke up confused since I really never catch Ellen on TV (I know they are still together, just in case anyone thought I was out of celebrity news).

I have been really thinking about why I would dream crazy dreams two nights in a row. The only conclusion was eating watermelon and then going to bed 30 min. later. Tonight, I am going to eat watermelon and see what kind of dreams I have. I will post sometime tomorrow with results of this study.

New Visitors

One of my Mother's Day gifts was a long awaited bird feeder. Ever since we filled it with birdseed, new visitors have arrived.

One of the three that hang around the house. One is always at the feeder scooping food for the others.

This little guy runs when he sees or hears humans. I was lucky to get a shot of him by my tire.

I also found two very UNWELCOMED visitors on our porch this afternoon. I was walking out the front door to find black snakes snithering around. I hate snakes. It doesn't matter what type they are.

A few of my favorite things

While everyone is napping and the house is clean, I thought I would post a few of my favorite things.

Mary Kay Mineral Foundation. This stuff is great! It makes my face look flawless and brighter. I have tried other mineral powders and they do not compare. I love the fact Kara can rub all over my face and my makeup stays in place. I wore it while working out to see if the sweat would wash it off. My makeup was fresh as ever. I recommend you order it from a Mary Kay rep.

The Fisher Price Jumperoo:

Without this toy, I wouldn't be able to get anything done around the house, let alone shower. Kara loves playing in this toy. She jumps hard and at times, I think she is going to jump through the floor.

Kara 9 months

It's hard to believe Kara turned 9 months on the 15th. Its even harder to believe in 2 1/2 months we will be celebrating her 1st birthday.

She is slowly becoming independent. For the most part, she plays with her toys alone. If I try to join her she pushes me away. She just started to sit on her knees without holding onto anything. She can sit that way until she is ready to crawl to another part of the house.

She loves bathtime. She splashes the water and squeals with delight. The only part she hates is getting her hair washed. We had to put a non-slip mat in tub to keep her from falling on her face when she crawls around in the water.

She eats very well. She loves all kinds of veggies. Our household has started to eat healthier and make better choices. Kara eats baby food and steamed veggies. Her favorite breakfast is infant oatmeal with smashed bananas or any jarred baby fruit.

Kara had her 9-month check up. She weighs 20.5 lbs 29 inches long. She is in the 75th percentile for her weight. I am used to her being in the 95th percentile. I was a little concerned about the weight gain, but I was quickly reminded as they start moving they won't gain as much.

Happy Memorial Day

As you participate in Memorial Day activities, please keep the men and women who serve and thier families in your thoughts in prayers. Don't forget about the ones who lost thier lives defending our freedom!

Just a Swingin'

Kara and I decided to take a little trip to the park this afternoon. This was the first time she has been. She loved the swing. I think she liked going down the slide. Of course, I held on to her. I am not sure she is ready to go on her own yet.

Random Pictures of Kara

I thought I would share some recent pictures of Kara since I haven't posted anything in a few days. I keep telling myself, I am going to get better. For some reason, chasing after a 9 month old takes up most of my time.

looking out the door watching the birds

she loves crawling around

enjoying a warm day outside

The Price of Children

I found this on a message board and thought I would share it with everyone

This is just too good not to pass on to all. Here is something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice.

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into: $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, $171.08 a week. A mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is: don't have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00? Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day. Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate. A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites. Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to: finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to: keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watch Saturday morning cartoons, go to Disney movies, and wish on stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodlewreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for: retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and * coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. You get a front row seat in history to witness the: First step, First word, First bra, First date, First time behind the wheel. You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!! Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren & great-grandchildren!!!!!!! It's the best investment you'll ever make!!!!!!!

Random Funny Moment

Kara went down for her nap at 9:15 in the Pack and Play while I was working in the office. I heard her scratching around and thought she was playing with the sheet before she fell asleep. I turn my head and find her sitting up on her knees trying to peek over. I look at her (she can't see me) and say,"What are you doing?" She then falls over on her side, puts her thumb in her mouth and closes her eyes.

I thought it was cute she got caught not taking a nap and she was trying to hide it.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


If you are like me and never participated or barely participtes, I urge you to give it a try. It's a fun way to look back on what you didn't do the week before. I love reading others "Not Me" posts. It makes me feel normal.

I did not hold Kara for 2 hours Sunday as she slept. I use naptimes for cleaning and having my "me" time. While she was napping, I also didn't say prayers for all the families with littles ones that are in the hospital sick while holding her.

Friday, Jeff and I started Weight Watchers. I did not weigh myself this morning to see that I lost 2 pounds. I am patiently waiting until Friday morning to weigh in.

Kara's First Trip to the Beach

Kara did surprisingly well traveling 4 hours to South Myrtle. I thought for sure she would have issues of sitting in her seat since she is very mobile and I have a hard time keeping her out of things at home. I am glad I have a well behaved child.

We arrived to the hotel Kara had a little meltdown. I think she thought she would be in a familiar place when she was out of her car seat. It took her 10 min. to calm down and start inspecting the place.

After she calmed down, I covered her in sunblock and headed outside. Autumn wanted to go swimming so we watched her at the pool. After 30 min. of swimming in the pool, we walked to the ocean. Kara and I sat on the sand while Autumn ran in the ocean and jumped through the waves. While waiting on Autumn, Kara decided she wanted to explore the sand and investigate it.

Saturday, Kara and I only spent an hour on the beach. She was getting cranky because her naptime was interrupted. That night we went to Broadway on the Beach just to walk around and window shop.

Overall, we had a good time. I wish it could have last longer.

Happy Birthday to Me

Considering its past midnight and I need to be up early so I can renew my license I should be in bed. But the excitement of hitting the road for the beach is keeping me up. I feel like a little kid again.



We are headed to South Myrtle. We have been assured that the fire and smoke will not effect our trip. I have a feeling it will. Anyways, I am going to enjoy my weekend celebration of hitting the BIG 3-0 at the beach. We will be eating at one of my favorite resteraunts, Cheeseburger in Paradise.

Yum and Mama...

are the words I heard come from Kara's mouth last night. Jeff, a friend of ours and I went to Golden Corral last night. I came back to the table with a plate of lima beans, a roll and pot roast. I sat the plate down and Kara says, "yum." A few moments later I am feeding her. In between bites, she is whining and grunting as normal. I turned my head to look at something. Kara screamed. "mama" to get my attention. I thought I was hearing things, until the waitress came to us and asked if she heard Kara correctly.

Whether it be a fluke or not, I am glad she finally said something besides "dada" and "baba."

Kara 8 months

I cannot believe she is 8 months old already. Time is flying fast.

She started to offically crawl. I have my hands full teaching her she can't play with the big electronics or go behind the TV to get the cables. Why are they attracted to chords?

For the past few weeks, we have been spending time with Jeff's brother and his wife. They have two small children (age 6 and age 1). Kara's cousins love getting in her face and attempting to play with her. I learned through this ordeal Kara likes to take in her environment and get a feel for where she is before she wants to be messed with. Its hard to keep her 1 yr old cousin out of her face, so we spend the time together with a crying baby and toddler who doesn't understand why Kara cannot play yet.

Spring/Summer is a time for new adventures in Kara's life. We are going to the beach next week to celebrate my birthday. It has become a tradition to spend my birthday weekend at the beach. I'm excited but nervous. I made plans to get Kara a hat, sunglasses, and to keep her covered in sun block. I can't wait to see how our packing has changed. There is so much more we have to pack. I will be sure to post about the trip along with pictures.

What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's.

For the past week, I have been going through the mountain of clothes given to us. One of the items was a UNC cheerleading outfit. I had it on the couch to show my mom. She talked me into letting her take it to her house to show Jim. Kara spent the night with them Saturday night and this is what happened:

(I think she stained it with baby food)

Cheesing for the camera